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Let's Play Every GameCube Game, Part 38

Teen Titans

Teen Titans (Artificial Mind and Movement/THQ, 2006)

A co-op brawler in the story mode and a 3D arena fighter in multiplayer. I only tried the latter, and it's a disaster. Starfire here can shoot green circles so quickly and with so much knockback that the other characters don't seem to be able to do anything about it except block, but blocking cancels out all damage and there's no time limit. That means it's just a test to see who runs out of patience first. It reviewed decently, so presumably these broken abilities are more fun in the campaign mode.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Konami, 2003)

A 3D brawler based on TMNT. It looks great and I love the music, but combat is extremely repetitive and it reuses the same handful of one-liners every time you use some of your moves.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus (Konami, 2004)

Now it's an isometric brawler with much worse animation for some reason. They added in some light puzzles and platforming but drastically reduced the number of attacks you have, so it's overall a simpler package. It was heavily criticized for being simple and repetitive.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare (Konami, 2005)

Largely TMNT2 again, though it does at least have a slightly better variety of moves and the empty player slots are filled by AI allies. I wish all these developers that released the effectively the same game many times in a row had thought about how hard it would be to come up with things to say about them. Good thing there aren't any sports games left, right? ...Right?

Tengai Makyō II: Manji Maru

Tengai Makyou II: Manji Maru (Hudson Soft, 2005)

A remake of a 1993 PC-Engine RPG that was, at the time, the most expensive game ever made. No version of it has ever released outside Japan and I don't have a ton of information on it, but Famitsu readers apparently voted it the twelfth best game of all time in 2006. That's awfully high praise for such an obscure game, so I'm putting it on the list.

Tensai Bit-Kun: Gramon Battle

Tensai Bit-Kun: Gramon Battle (Garakuta-Studio/Taito, 2003)

Wikipedia calls this a tactical RPG even though it's really a very basic version of a game like Pokemon Stadium. I don't blame them for being wrong, though. This game required me to skip at least two dozen tutorials in order to get to a battle, and that's not counting the many static cutscenes I also had to skip or the long loading screens I have to wait through. All of that just to make the ugly creature I drew fight another ugly creature in an extremely simple RPG system. Even most mobile games can only dream of having so little return on time.

Terminator 3: The Redemption

Terminator 3: The Redemption (Paradigm Entertainment/Atari, 2004)

A third person shooter featuring very slow movement and very bullet-spongey enemies. It got a mixed response at the time and most of the praise was for the graphics and open levels, which are obviously nothing remarkable today. Though not nearly as uninspired as most licensed games, it's still not worth playing.

Tetris Worlds

Tetris Worlds (Radical Entertainment/THQ, 2002)

Tetris with a scifi theme and story mode. It was received terribly by critics because of the changes it made to the core formula, but it was something of a success commercially. This is another genre (game?) where everything in it is basically the same thing to me, so I can't tell you why it's better or worse than any of the other ways to play Tetris.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2003 (EA Sports, 2002)

Yeah, so I lied when I said there weren't any more sports games. We still have the most boring sports game left: golf, but serious this time. Here the golf man hits the ball by pulling back on the control stick and then swinging it forward, which feels good. But it's still boring. Because golf is boring, you see. This is a unique opinion that has never been stated before by anyone.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004 (EA Sports, 2004)

Regular sports games take a lot of heat for unnecessary yearly releases, but at least those have roster changes. What changes in golf from year to year? The trees get taller? Clearly the answer is not much, because the tutorial they make you play is exactly the same, down to repeating all the same dialogue. Literally the only thing they changed is the camera angle. Now that deserves a slow golf clap.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2005 (EA Sports, 2004)

The tutorial is at least new in this one. It looks like they added a ton of obscure ball control abilities if the extra complicated loading screen tutorial is anything to go by. There's also a new challenge mode called "Tiger Proofing." I still don't understand why golf games were annualized, but at least they made more visible changes this time.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06 (EA Sports, 2005)

The fourth iteration was when they realized they didn't need to force you to play a tutorial every time, although it still doesn't let you play as anyone other than Tiger Woods and you have to play at Pebble Beach. The game might look a little bit better. The main thing I noticed was that the announcers are very boring and have so few voice lines that I heard repeats even though I played less than one hole.

TimeSplitters 2

TimeSplitters 2 (Free Radical/Eidos, 2002)

The GCN FPS that everyone talks about and that I'd never played a second of. I'm still not totally convinced by FPS controls on this system, but playing this is virtually obligatory and it never released on anything other than this generation of consoles and as an easter egg in a bad Homefront game. I'll take the ancient console version.

TimeSplitters: Future Perfect

TimeSplitters: Future Perfect (Free Radical/EA, 2005)

Insert the description from the last game here. It seems to have added more multiplayer options, which is cool, and I'll also be playing it.


TMNT (Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft, 2007)

The last of the many TMNT games on GCN was from Ubisoft and looks somewhat suspiciously like Assassin's Creed. Critics praised its platforming and bashed... basically everything else. The graphics are pretty impressive for GCN, at least.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Melee

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Melee (Konami, 2005)

The 3D fighter of the series, which must have been a legally required genre for any self-respecting licensed franchise back then. It's dire. Most of the buttons don't do anything and B is your only attack, but even that only gives you one attack animation instead of a combo.

The list:

  1. 1080° Avalanche

  2. Animal Crossing

  3. Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance

  4. Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean

  5. Batman: Dark Tomorrow

  6. Burnout 2: Point of Impact

  7. Charinko Hero

  8. Chibi-Robo!

  9. Cocoto Kart Racer

  10. Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest

  11. Custom Robo

  12. Dark Summit

  13. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

  14. F-Zero GX

  15. Family Stadium 2003

  16. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

  17. Freedom Fighters

  18. Freekstyle

  19. Gotcha Force

  20. James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing

  21. Jikkyou Powerful Major League

  22. Kirby Air Ride

  23. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

  24. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

  25. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour

  26. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

  27. Mario Power Tennis

  28. Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

  29. Mr. Driller Drill Land

  30. Muscle Champion: Kinnikutou Kessen

  31. MVP Baseball 2005

  32. Nintendo Puzzle Collection

  33. Odama

  34. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

  35. R: Racing Evolution

  36. Sega Soccer Slam

  37. Shinseiki GPX Cyber Formula: Road to the Evolution

  38. The Simpsons: Hit & Run

  39. SSX 3

  40. SSX on Tour

  41. SSX Tricky

  42. Star Wars Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader

  43. Summoner: A Goddess Reborn

  44. Super Robot Wars GC

  45. Tengai Makyou II: Manji Maru

  46. TimeSplitters 2

  47. TimeSplitters: Future Perfect

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