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Let's Play Every GameCube Game, Part 23

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Midway Arcade Treasures

Midway Arcade Treasures (Backbone Games/Midway, 2003)

A collection of 24 arcade games that definitely don't all deserve to be called "treasures." I love Rampart and some others like Gauntlet and Joust are widely considered arcade classics, but I don't know that anyone was clamoring for a way to play 720 on console. The games all run well and most of them give you infinite quarters, but otherwise there aren't any special features.

Midway Arcade Treasures 2

Midway Arcade Treasures 2 (Backbone Entertainment/Midway, 2004)

This one has 20 games instead of 24, but the titles are newer and often gorier - this was the only title in the series to get an M rating - than the last set of games. I had never played it before because there's nothing I really care about. The second and third Mortal Kombats were the big selling point, but, as will come up later in this post, I've always found that series' trademark violence gross.

Midway Arcade Treasures 3

Midway Arcade Treasures 3 (Backbone Games/Midway, 2005)

The worst reviewed of the lot, but also my favorite by far. It bundles together a bunch of racing games including the Dreamcast versions of San Francisco Rush 2049 and Hydro Thunder, which have additional modes and features, and the arcade versions of other titles like Offroad Thunder and Race Drivin'.

Minority Report: Everybody Runs

Minority Report: Everybody Runs (Treyarch/Activision, 2002)

A brawler based on a movie. Despite the famous developer and unusual genre, it's as simple and boring as almost every other movie game. Enemies seemingly can't break out of grabs, so it's a free win button when you're one-on-one.

Mission: Impossible – Operation Surma

Mission: Impossible – Operation Surma (Paradigm Entertainment/Atari, 2004)

I think this eventually becomes a stealth game, but I couldn't make it out of the first area because it's too dark to see anything and I got sick of walking back and forth looking for a path that wasn't fenced off. It actually isn't based on a movie, but that didn't save it from mediocre reviews. Even though it stars the usual franchise protagonist, they didn't get the likeness rights or voice, so I imagine it'd be jarring to fans of the series.

MLB Slugfest 20-03

MLB Slugfest 20-03 (Gratuitous Games/Midway, 2002)

I probably should've picked teams I had some familiarity with in 2003 so that I could tell you if they were using real players, but alas. This is a bizarrely edgey baseball game with impossible fast pitches and controls simplified to the point of being boring. The announcers have personality, but I'd rather have the usual dull robots than listen to these idiots. And yes, they do actually say "twenty-oh-three" as the name of the game. You're able to start fights and look at mostly naked women if that's what you want out of your baseball game.

MLB Slugfest 20-04

MLB Slugfest 20-04 (Gratuitous Games/Midway, 2003)

As is usual for sports games, this is basically unchanged. I did at least confirm that they're using real players, but I'd rather just be Yoshi if we're going to have absurdities like 115 MPH fastballs.

Momotarou Dentetsu 11: Black Bombee Shutsugen! No Maki

Momotarou Dentetsu 11: Black Bombee Shutsugen! No Maki (Hudson, 2002)

A Japanese board game that's a lot like Monopoly. Famitsu reviewed it 34/40, but giving suspiciously high scores to Japanese games is sort of their thing, and I have very little interest in anything that's similar to Monopoly. Still, I love the cartoon art that you get on loading screens and the board is much more attractive than you get in a lot of tabletop-to-console ports.

Momotarou Dentetsu 12: Nishinihon Hen mo ari Masse!

Momotarou Dentetsu 12: Nishinihon Hen mo ari Masse! (Hudson, 2003)

The same game with some different menu graphics. There are probably some minor differences in property prices, card effects, etc, but nothing noticeable at a glance.

Monopoly Party

Monopoly Party (Runecraft/Infogrames, 2002)

And now we have actual Monopoly. The only difference I noticed between this and the original game is that everyone takes their turn simultaneously and players run an auction for a property if multiple try to buy it at the same time. That change does make the game shorter and therefore less terrible, but it's really only a good drop in the ocean of crap that is Monopoly's design.

Monster 4x4: Masters of Metal

Monster 4x4: Masters of Metal (Ubisoft Barcelona/Ubisoft, 2003)

If I was going to make a racing game where the bed of the player's truck would be visible, I would probably make sure to actually fill it in. I would probably also make sure my game didn't look like one from the last generation. Neither of these concerns were a problem for Ubisoft, who also weren't much interested in competent AI, vehicle traction, or really anything that you need to have a good racing game.

Monster House

Monster House (Artificial Mind and Movement/THQ, 2006)

It bucks the trend for movie games by being a third person shooter with tank controls. You could even call it survival horror if you're feeling gengerous, but that feels like a stretch considering you get infinite ammo. I wish more of these licensed titles had followed its lead and been more mechanically creative, but I still won't be playing it because of its achingly slow pace and clunky controls.

Monster Jam: Maximum Destruction

Monster Jam: Maximum Destruction (Inland Productions/Ubisoft, 2002)

A car combat game in which I'm pretty sure my car isn't normally supposed to be invisible. It's totally unplayable in this state, unfortunately, so I can't tell you much more than that the AI is ruthless, the graphics are straight from PS1, and reviews were terrible.

Monsters, Inc. Scream Arena

Monsters, Inc. Scream Arena (Radical Entertainment/THQ, 2002)

It might be premature to say this is my personal worst game on GameCube, but I honestly can't imagine how it could get any worse than this, at least in terms of sheer lack of ambition. This is dodgeball against an AI who never even attempts to throw the ball and with extremely generous lock-on just to make sure it doesn't require anything even vaguely resembling skill to win. There's only the one arena and mode unlocked by default, with no indication of how you'd get more. Winning one match didn't do anything, and I'm sure not going to try a second. This is an exceedingly bad Mario Party minigame masquerading as a full release. Just absolute trash.

Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance

Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance (Midway, 2002)

I'm not judging anyone who likes this series, but I've always found its level of gore repulsive. If it's your thing that's great and I'm glad it's there for you, but I try to avoid it as much as possible. Here is a screenshot of the menu for completion's sake. I'm sure there's a fighting game with lots of dismemberment behind all those options.

The list:

  1. 1080° Avalanche

  2. Animal Crossing

  3. Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance

  4. Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean

  5. Batman: Dark Tomorrow

  6. Burnout 2: Point of Impact

  7. Charinko Hero

  8. Chibi-Robo!

  9. Cocoto Kart Racer

  10. Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest

  11. Custom Robo

  12. Dark Summit

  13. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem

  14. F-Zero GX

  15. Family Stadium 2003

  16. Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

  17. Freedom Fighters

  18. Freekstyle

  19. Gotcha Force

  20. James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing

  21. Jikkyou Powerful Major League

  22. Kirby Air Ride

  23. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

  24. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

  25. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour

  26. Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

  27. Mario Power Tennis

  28. Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

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