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Let's Play Every Game Boy Color Game, Part 22

Hamtaro: Ham-Hams Unite!

Hamtaro: Ham-Hams Unite! (Pax Softonica/Nintendo, 2001)

I have zero familiarity with this IP, so if they idea that hamsters communicate through "Ham-chat" comes from the show rather than this game, I wouldn't know. Ham-chat is really just a stupid made up sound to replace real words, and you have to go and equip new ones whenever one of the four you can hold in your dumb hamster head at any one time aren't good enough. It's not good.

Hana Yori Dango: Another Love Story

Hana Yori Dango: Another Love Story (TDK Core, 2001)

An otome with truly awful character portraits. That seems like the sort of thing you'd really want to be sure you got right in this kind of game.

Hanasaka Tenshi Tenten-kun no Beat Breaker

Hanasaka Tenshi Tenten-kun no Beat Breaker (ITL/Konami, 1999)

A rhythm game combined with a puzzle game. The little evil faces show up if you miss a beat, but otherwise you get a seemingly random Game Boy button. If three of the same button touch, they disappear. Since you don't have any control over which buttons appear where and the rhythm game is extremely easy, I don't see what the point of this is.

Hands of Time

Hands of Time (Mirage/Titus Software, 2001)

I think this is trying to be a "stealth action" game like the original Metal Gear, but you can probably take a hundred bullets before that meter drains and the guards are so oblivious that I was able to murder one right next to his partner without the other guy noticing. I still might have put it on the list to return to just because the theme is a bit interesting, but I can't take how slowly the character moves.

Harley-Davidson: Race Across America

Harley-Davidson: Race Across America (Running Dog Software/Wizard Works, 2000)

Another OutRun-style racer, now on motorcycles. There's really nothing interesting about it, and they didn't even bother with music. You just have to listen to horrible motorcycle noises the whole time.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Griptonite Games/Electronic Arts, 2002)

It acts like it's just going to be an adventure game for the first 10 minutes, but then you are attacked by a toaster and a mixer on your way to bed. Now it's a turn-based RPG with spells generated by combinations of wizard cards. That seems like it could make for a pretty interesting battle system, but I've never cared about this IP at all, so I'll leave it to others to play.

Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Griptonite Games/Electronic Arts, 2001)

Pretty much the same game, which probably isn't surprising given that it only came out 11 months earlier and this version would've been the least important of its many different releases.

Harvest Moon GBC

Harvest Moon GBC (TOSE/Natsume, 1999)

The first Harvest Moon on GBC. It's not all that interesting other than that the character design on the female lead and the opening with your grandfather's ghost willing you his farm are pretty clearly inspirations for Stardew Valley. Oh, and you can vault over fences when you run at them. Why is that not in all of these games?

Harvest Moon 2 GBC

Harvest Moon 2 GBC (Victor Interactive Software/Natsume, 1999)

Largely the same game, but now with a real town you can explore instead of just a menu with the different shops. It didn't bother with a tutorial at all, so I guess you were expected to have played the first game and to have remembered how to do everything. Apparently they removed the dating part of the game entirely - I can only imagine what an internet shitshow there'd be if they did that now.

Harvest Moon 3 GBC

Harvest Moon 3 GBC (Victor Interactive Software/Natsume. 2001)

I want to say this is the best one in the series because you can have a pit bird and even carry it around like in the above screenshot. But it's also the series' somewhat infamous peak sexism: If you play as a girl, your father calls in the boy to help you run the farm, since it's apparently too hard to do alone. If you're the boy, you're the main character of HM2 who is already a successful farmer and was brought in to help the girl. Nevermind that both characters look exactly like they did in HM2, so either could've been the helping character. But that's quite time compared to the decision to bring marriage back and have it end the game if you're playing as a girl. The boy gets to keep playing, but Natsume just couldn't imagine life after marriage for girls.


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